Falling..Fadding..Losing strength...

I hate the fact this is the thought that i deal with every day, i feel myself becoming weaker. just wanting to ask if hes okay, if hes still handling things the way he is... to say i miss him... that ill always love him.

i miss the way we cuddled, the way we just laid there and talked, the times everything was peaceful and
happy.
                                   
I gave everything, wanted him in everything told him everything. thats what makes this so hard. the way that my life...was his. my drama my friends he knew all. i gave that boy my world...

he met my family, first guy to meet them. and they loved him. they told me how they thought we'd be together forever. in this picture we were having issues... this was our hard times, yet here, we were so happy :/

WHY DID I FALL IN LOVE IF WE CLEARLY WE WEREN'T MENT TO BE?
love never fades... then why do we do this to ourselfs? why did i finally give up... why did i push him away when clearly hes all thats on my mind :/ 
"This is the hardest part
when you feel like you're fading
All that you have has become unreal
collapsing, and aching
All I want, all I want was right here
but love don't live here anymore"